I Do NOT Know Chris

Book Review: Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

2010-03-10T13:44:00.000-08:00

This might just be one of the most powerful things I have ever read. The book allows you to go into the mind of a young girl as she falls deeper and deeper into the addiction of illegal drugs. The book begins where she is just a normal pre-teen trying to deal with her new home and new school. At the end you will be crying like a baby hoping it could've ended on a happier note.

ALL TEENAGERS SHOULD READ THIS BOOK.
EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE TO READ.

Megan:)

2010-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

okay so megan and i hung out all day and.....well, it was quite interesting to say the least. here are a few funny stories of the day.

1. Megan: "oh, i think my drink might of thawed out because its really cold in your car!"

2. So its really cold outside of starbucks (there werent any open seats inside) so i was kind enough to offer Megan a sip of my caramel machiatto. Well, she takes a sip and SPITS it onto the SIDEWALK! then, as if thats not enough, just spits again because "the taste was still in her mouth!"

3. woah woah bo bo!

4. we got lost on the way to target, and went through about 6 different confusing parking lots hha

5. we go in to target and i find these XXL granny panties and i take a picture with them...and a 42D bra. hha, pics on facebook soon.

those are some of the few things that just popped in my mind. time to go back to more important things, like reading :). goodnight everyone

Lately

2010-02-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

it seems that I have either absoutely nothing to talk about. or way too much. Life has been going, well, pretty much exactly how I want it to lately....to the point where I cant even put it into words on this site.

Im friends with Joseph Cress again so its like amazing. we are going to be hanging out at tylers (another exciting thing) probably every friday. usually with brittany, haley, chris, kevin, mary elizabeth, rachelle, caleb, etc. and thats just really fun. It is weird though being the youngest person there....me being 16 and everyone else 17-22. but honestly, these are the people i fit in with.
Im not a little naive immature 16 year old. I can hang out with the college kids yupyupp. and shh, dont tell anyone, if only i was a tad bit older so i could date -------- yeah, im not telling. ahh, that would be great. hes like my brother/grandpa though haha.

schools alright too. i do have a lot of good friends there now too, which is exciting. but sometimes hangingout with them isnt as great as hanging out with the older people. ha. we just cant do as much stuff. but hey, they are the people i see every day and know oh so well. even if some of them are on my bad list *cough Jay cough*.

scratch that

2010-01-31T15:35:00.001-08:00

i decided i do like snow. only on the weekdays.

I HATE SNOW

2010-01-30T08:05:00.000-08:00

end of story.

2009-12-28T13:11:00.000-08:00

why must the drama be around? im not even involved in it and it still bugs me. boys will be boys will be boys, huh?

anyway, a late MERRY CHRISTmas to everyone.

Christmas GET list:
-northface:)
-a coat
-Wicked- G. Maguire
-boots
-mystic topaz ring and necklact
-pajamas
-photo editing software

i got some more but i dont have the time to write all that i want to say. yet, its safe to say that this was a good Christmas. :) a good one spent with friends family and more friends. (some of which are pretty much cousins:) )

I am not ready for work today. theres so much drama in the work place and i know my boss is going to ask me whats going on. why must people always go to me with their problems. i dont know really.

A late Thanksgiving

2009-11-28T08:43:00.001-08:00

i am thankful for turkey with dressing, homemade stuffing, freshly grown squash, pretzel salad, ham, grape salad, rolls
i am thankful for red velvet and irish creme cake with pecans and creamcheese icing wedding cakes
i am thankful for momma, daddy, katelyn, brendan, grandmommy, greatgrand, bebe, ht, hunter, bryce, aunt jessica, uncle brian, uncle tee, uncle blayne, aunt rita, abby, daniel, jake
i am thankful for snow, rain, sunshine, clouds, trees, leaves, grass
i am thankful for country, hiphop, rock, jazz, classical, pop, punk, alternative
i am thankful for chicken and a job
i am thankful for catelyn, kaitlin, anna, rachel, maggie, kayla, francesca, katie, megan
i am thankful for austin, jonathan, josh, jacquez, kevin
i am thankful for bumps sets and spikes
i am thankful for ramsey, carr, hill
i am thankful for smiles, tears, laughs
i am thankful for corny children movies that make me cry
i am thankful for notes from 8th grade that remind me that I'm so much better off now
i am thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!
i am thankful for my chiropractor

Football

2009-11-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

Honestly, i dont understand football. im not afraid to admit it. the rules, the positions, they make no sense to me whatsoever. But today, in gym class. I think i did pretty daing impressive.

So my teacher has this rule that the ball MUST be thrown and run by one of the girls before you can score a touchdown. Well, obviously, the boys try to get us out of the way first by letting us run the first play. Well I was the lucky girl to get the ball on the first play of the ENTIRE game today. usually, i go about three feet before being tagged (we play two hand touch). But this time, I did quite well.

Keith threw the ball to me and i caught it with one arm. Expecting to be tagged soon, I didnt really run at first because Jeff, the fastest kid in our class, was right in front of me. However, when I ran, he touched me with one hand, so I kept running. Anna, the fastest girl in our class, went running after me. I got literally 4 yards away from a touchdown when she tagged me in the shoulders a little too hard and I went flying forward. I lost my balance but kept a hold of that ball.

I went sliding on my side, then fell into a forward roll on the ground, and then came back up by doing a shoulder turn. Even though I fell, i got to practice my volleyball rolls. haha

Friends

2009-10-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

I havent written in a while so I decided to just dedicate this post to the true friends I have. I wont have time to do everybody but i hope to get the people that influence who I am the most.

Catelyn Presley:
What would I do without you? Lets see, I wouldnt read as much Nicolas Sparks as I do. I wouldnt of gotten lost at Scarowinds. I wouldnt enjoy eating Subway sandwiches (with jalapenos) with no drink. I wouldnt get to trick people into believing have the stuff I say. I wouldnt get to cheer at softball games. I wouldnt get to take pictures of peoples shoes. I wouldnt pass English. Oh wow girl, theres so much. Im so glad you dont hate me like you did last year hahaha, because I would have a really hard time if you did. Oh, one more thing, I wouldnt be ditched senior year either!! Dont worry, I still love you.

Josh Balich aka Silly Moose:
What would I do without you? I would be dead. I wouldnt get to hear "almost got arrested" stories. I wouldnt get to make fun of you for not "being a man". I wouldnt of had a good time in art class last year. I wouldnt of had this amazing picture of Mr Carr. I wouldnt have anyone to tell how awesome they are. I would be very far behind on music stuff. I would not be as close to God. All around, my life would be boring. Really dude, im so glad that we are friends again. I wouldnt of survived (yes yes I know youve heard me say this a million and one times), but really, I was being eaten alive by those people haha. You're the first person I think of to call when I'm crying and just need someone to talk to. Thank you and I love you Joshua Balich!!!

Taylor Ruettgers:
What would I do without you? I wouldnt know that chips are made from cornmeal. I wouldnt of had anywhere to go after mint hill madness. I wouldnt of been kicked OUT of mint hill madness haha. I wouldve never gone bowling and to the part and just around town. I would never know that it goes "chocolate, strawberry, and FRUIT CUP!" I would have no one to write pointless notes to. Babe, I love you! I feel like we havent talked/seen each other much since volleyball finished and I miss your face.

Kyndall Clontz:
What would I do without you? I would be really bored in math. I would have no one to stand behind me in haunted houses. I would not know that chips are made from cornmeal and they are just puffed stuff. I would have no one to make fun of half the time :) I would have had very boring lunches last year. I would have no one to call me BS GIRL (back spasm girl). I love you BeeGee.

Conor Chambers:
What would I do without you? I wouldnt have a best friend. I wouldnt know ur hair was not red but actually strawberry blond. I wouldnt know that after you laugh, ur supposed to eat a sandwich. I wouldve probably gone and smacked...well you know "YOU HIIIIT ME!" girl. I wouldve never written all over my sweatpants. Yonathan wouldnt of been mad at me for a whole 6 minutes. I wouldve failed that english quiz. Catelyn wouldnt of been mad at me for you taking her seat. You wouldve still thought I was cute hahahahah. I wouldnt enjoy spanish.

Austin Kegarise:
What would I do without you? I wouldnt know a lying cheating rude jerk-loser. I wouldnt laugh so much in spanish and almost get in trouble. I wouldnt of lost in soccer (because you cheat). I wouldnt of known that if you try to go over a ramp on a bike that you get stuck halfway. I wouldnt of known that ice burns THAT bad with salt. I wouldnt of how it was as long as your arm.....woo shouldnt of gone there hahahaha.

I dont have time to put more long ones, and I know I'll forget later so heres a list of the other people that mean a lot to me. :)

Jonathan Marlin. Katie McWhirter. Zach Meyer [happy birthday]. Addison Haddad. Philip Young. David McGoldrick. Rachel Downing. Meghan Tucker. Megan Hamrick. Lauren Milligan. Nathan Sauls. Cassie Hughes. Emily Covert. Ben Parker. Yonathan Watson. Candace Perkins. Joseph Cress. Kaitlin Thomas.

The Weekend

2009-10-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

Friday:

NO SCHOOL! I was so excited I couldnt even stand it. And honestly, i even kinda like school. But still, school is school is school. Haha. My volleyball team had a game and guess what, we actually won! I didnt get to serve....still. UGH! My back is BETTER, understand?! But still, we beasted it up. Bahaha. Yet, now I have a really blue bruise on my arm from when Breanna rammed into me. Why do these people still not understand that setter has the second ball unless they call help? I honestly have no earthly idea.

I was supposed to go to a Haunted Hayride with Catelyn after the game, but of course, the plans changed. Instead, I went to the Hickory Grove vs First Assembly game. I was told that Hickory Grove was going to win, but the person who told me was quite mistaken. It was such and EPIC FAIL! But I gotta hang out with some friends and it was prettttty daing fun. And Britt, Josh, and James were there....weird.

Saturday:

So I usually let my mom or dad wake me up on Saturdays for when I work and such....well good thing I set my alarm. They "forgot" I had work and I went downstairs all ready to go and my mom was like "ohhhhh crap!" Well, at least I wasnt late. Work was treacherous. But, I got headset for the first three hours! YAY! We ran out of food for part of the time, and people were waiting like almost 10 minutes for 4 chicken minis. I mean seriously people? just leave the line. haha. But, I guess they were hungry. Oh, and at least we were more busy than we were last Saturday. Danny said it was the slowest he had ever seen it in 9 years. But we were busier yesturday.

After work, I went home and got ready and such. Catelyn came overrrr! Hung out and ate popsicles, HAHA! Then we were running late, of course, meeting Taylor, Kyndall, David, and Kaleb up at SCAROWINDS! Dude it was freaking scary this year, just saying. But we got pictures with a bunch of the scary people :D Stayed from opening til closing, it was greaaaat. I honestly (wow I say that word a lot) love this group of friends. They are hilarious! Well after Scarowinds, we couldnt find Catelyns dad to take us home haha. Took about an hour or so, I didnt get home til about 1 30. AHHH I was so tired.

The Rats

2009-09-12T04:15:00.000-07:00

Last night:
lost Poppy
Katelyn says to watch out for her being in my room..

This morning:
Come out of the shower and turn light on
See Poppy run from under my bed to my closet
Go wake Katelyn up
Cant find rat in my closet
found rat behind the shoe shelf
Cant reach Poppy
IDEA-use Willow (1st rat) to lure Poppy
Takes a long time...

...still working on it.

Everytime

2009-09-07T18:59:00.001-07:00

I talk to him I get butterflies.

So seriously, I have told myself what, a THOUSAND times that I wasnt going to like someone again. I wasnt going to open myself up. And i DEFINITELY wasnt going to make myself vulnerable. Not after all that happened.

But of course, what happens, I do anyway. I lasted awhile though haha.

Im supposed to make this post longer for creative writing, but I cant put what I did this weekend in my blog for everyone to see. Well i mean i could say that I:
-went to see GI Joe with Rachel,Steven,Katelyn,Philip,and Addison
-went to BuffaloWildWings with the above minus my sister
-Rachel spent the night
-worked 8 hours
-church
-carowinds with Joseph,Grace,and Candace
-Grandmommy's birthday party

but who cares about that right?

School

2009-09-02T03:28:00.000-07:00

....has been alright this year I suppose.
But i have a feeling the classes are gonna be really tough.

1A Psychology- Mr. Russell:
wellll, he likes to give us papers, its only the second week of school and im on my second paper for him (just for this class, i also have him for something else). But I think I'm going to enjoy this class! I just cant wait til April (we will learn about mental disorders)! :D

2A Algebra2 honors- Miss Ramsey:
well first I gotta say that Miss Coach MaryRose Ramsey is the best math teacher in the ENTIRE worlddd! So glad I got out of that other guys class. whew, burden gone. Seriously, had her for Geometry and now I got her again (its a dream come true!!) hah I love her.

3A Spanish2- Miss De La Mora:
hmm, im pretty scared about this one. Half the time I cant understand what she's saying (her english sometimes, well mostly, sounds like her spanish). But I've already learned more this yar then I did last year in all of spanish1 haha. Thats sad D:

4A Creative Writing- Ms. Martin:
This will be interesting. It seems to me like more of an art class then a writing class (and quite frankly, i dont like art). But Ashleigh, Kaitlin, Augusta and I perform "The Palm Tree Song" today! im SOOO excited. Mr. Fanelli is gonna come watch!

1B English10 Honors- Mr. Wichman:
well, this class is pretty hysterical, as well as REALLY awkward. We've had to stand along the wall and do YOGA! this is english class people! but I gotta say, Mr. Wichman makes my day (meaning how funny he is when he isnt trying to be). But his choice of books is GREAT. i already read the first book on the list this summer, just for fun! and i looooved it.

2B Civics&Economics Honors- Mr. Hill:
Mr. Hill broke a desk. Well not this year, last year, but still. It's still in the classroom haha. So my idea: dont sleep. But besides the teacher's anger problems, he seems like I'm going to be able to learn a lot from him and his class! yayy

3B Biology Honors- Mrs. Bennett:
She was my spanish1 teacher last year, and i think hte majority of my class is veiwing her as a bad teacher, but "Biology is her thing!" or so I've heard. Still in that "what is science" part of the book so its boring as crap right now.

4B Criminal Justice- Mr. Russell:
got Mr. Russel aggggain. So guess what that means! MORE PAPERS! hha. yeah, on the second one for this class too. I think I like him better for psychology than this class

I shall miss them dearly!

2009-08-16T18:07:00.000-07:00

Them being Candace and Erika.

Okay so heres my day:
-Wake up wayyyyy too early and help my mom clean the house and sort coupons etc.etc.
-go to Joseph's house
-find out Erika isnt picking us up for 20 minutes
-watch the office
-candace comes to joseph's house
-watch candace fail miserably at parking her car
-walk inside then right back outside because erika shows up
-drive to Harris Teeter
-go to the self checkout and find out its broken
-takes 15 to by a Carowinds pass
-go to Bojangles YUMMMMMY
-get in bad traffic because of a wreck
-take a major detour around concord mills just to go to Carowinds
-it starts raining
-it starts pouring
-it starts lightning
-it starts thundering
-me & joseph get calls from our parents saying its storming (duh)
-we all have to pee (which doesnt help when its raining)
-we call carowinds and they say they are open
-get to carowinds
-they're closed because of lightning
-we sit there having to pee, in the rain.
-we go to concord mills
-get tickets from the slowest ticket lady to see GI Joe
-previews start and the screen gets blurry and starts moving so you cant see it
-it gets fixed but we missed all the previews
-i wanted to watch the previews
-i complain about not watching the previews
-watch amaaaazing movie
-walk around mall once
-go to TGI Fridays
-get an amazing meal && dessert for only 5 dollars
-drive to joseph's house
-get picked up

my day was amazing
even with all the bad things that happened
i will miss candace and erika soooo freaking much
now its only me and joe left at chickfila!

I Forgot

2009-07-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

to tell ya'll about the band Exodus.
So at camp this year with my church, the band exodus performed (they are from Liberty University) and I must say, they are absolutely amaaazing. Their lyrics really helped me get back on a much better walk with Christ. I owe them that.

Plus I got Stephen the sound guy's signature ;) haha. (Only Madison understands).

Well you just need to here them for yourselves. Especially the song "Give Love Away".

You can also check out Todd Rukes & Kyle Cummings's CDs
as well. Kyle does the thing like Secondhand Serenade & plays all the instruments & sings & puts the separate recordings all together. He also writes his own music. Kyle's is known as New Eyes. They really are amazing artists & really awesome people.

So yeah, check them out. And enjoy!

Memories.

2009-07-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

It's been really hard staying at Cassie's house this week and having to walk or drive by my old house every day. I've been having to fight back the urge of asking those people who live there what they did to the place. I wonder what Brendan's room looks like now (my mom spent a full week or more painting it while pregnant & she made mountains in the background & a entrance sign & everything...it was amazing!). I wonder if they kept the backyard how it was (we used to have a huge hill but about a year before we moved we flattened out the top & made stairs down to a playplace). I wonder if the 2 story curtains my mom made (and my dad almost died putting up) are still hanging in the living room. I wonder if the pool table that they "wouldnt buy the house unless we let them have" is still in good shape.

I dont want crazy people living in the house I pretty much grew up in. But I think they ARE crazy considering they also wouldnt but that house unless we left things such as the mailbox, lightswitch covers, doorknobs, termostat, etc. for them to have. What kind of person takes those things?

But anyway. I miss that house.

I miss how when the lights went out during a storm Katelyn, Cassie, and I would sing "Little Bunny FooFoo". I miss having "hopscotch day" in our frontyard with Jordan,Zach,Josh,Caleb,Cassie,Katelyn and myself. I miss having beanie baby feildtrips. I miss being on the neighborhood swim team back when I liked water. I miss having Jordan&Zach over and selling all of our mediocre drawings to some guy for $50. I miss going to Carowinds every single weekend. I miss "Thad is a rad mad fad dad". I miss seeing ghosts with Ashley. Making stupid news with Robyn. Doing everything with Cassie.

Gosh i miss my childhood

WOAH

2009-07-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

So just about 30 minutes ago the funniest things happened.
I dont know if they really were funny or if we are just incredibly hyper.

Well me cassie kately & destiny just went downstairs to get something to drink. Then Cassie grabs the whipped cream & sprays some in Destinys hair! Then she grabs a dish & fills it with whipped cream & puts it inside of a pot. Then something happened (i dont remember what) but Cassie laughs & whipped cream comes spewing out of Cassies throat & barely misses Destiny. Cassies mom then called downstairs telling us to shut up & cassie fell on the floor with a pillow & destiny & kately both sat i water & their butts were wet. Cassie also spit Dr Pepper all in my face.

it was great. I love Newnan

Update

2009-07-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

So I sure better not be falling for him again. The umpteenth time. I sure better not.

Camp was great. One treacherous day, but after that it was fine. Steven (the sound guy) was pretty much the highlight. Madison & I.....we love that guy. Woo can you say hottie/awesome person/christian/HOTTIE!!!! ahh he was great.

I did learn a lot from Jerad (our preacher) this week. && i grew a lot with the Lord.

Georgia tomorrow. Braves game Tuesday. Robyns Wednesday. funfunfunnn.

i dont feel like going deep today

2009-06-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

Isnt summer supposed to be a time of fun? A time where you can get out of the house & actually do something. Well it seems like everyone else has done this except, of course, me.

Short post. But I have nothing to talk about.

school&friends&heroes.

2009-06-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

So since my posting is quite delayed this one SHOULD be pretty long. Hopefully SOMEONE will read it so it'll be put to good use. Otherwise it'll just be my way to get rid of all the thoughts in my head at the moment.

----------------------------

school (n.)- an institution where instruction is given

Theres so much more than that. Sure, we are taught to read&write&remember where certain countries are on a map, but school....school is a place where everyone is forced to be. A setting that has been chosen for you. The teacher was chosen, the people in your class were chosen, even the room in which its held is chosen for you. You dont have any say in what is taught, in what is spoken, in anything. Its also a place that most of your relationships are born. Seeds are sown & friendships are grown.

School this year was amazing. The first nine weeks though, not so much. But I was lucky enough to go to QG and have some of the best teachers (yes, grandmother, i AM talking about Mr Carr, bahahaha). Ive learned a lot this year, not only by the teachers, but also by fellow students.

---------------------------

Friends (n.)- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

It takes something big to find out who your true friends are. Maybe its something like who keeps in touch after you move away, or change schools. Or maybe it's when you get in a fight with another friend and people "choose sides". The people who stay with you through all your hardships; those are your real friends. Its hard to lose someone, but when you step back and look at the big picture; maybe, just maybe, its a good thing they're gone.

Ive always had this feeling that Ive never quite been a best friend to anyone. Never. They always have someone more important on their list but me. Always. Its a bad feeling when you go look at your best friends "top friends" on facebook or myspace and your down at number 10...or maybe not on there at all. Its a little thing inside of you that irks and is bothered by this. Or at least, thats how it is my case. Its a downward spiral inside my head after that. Thoughts soon come that I'm not truly friends with the person, then turn into thoughts that I may not have any friends at all. Its always been this way for me. Why can everyone else have BestFriends & always hang out with that ONE person but it never happens for me? Am I not deserving of this?

------------------------

hero (n.)- someone who performs a great deed

no,a hero doesnt have to do anything amazing. They dont have to really DO anything at all. Someone can be your hero just because they sat and listened to you when you were down, or someone who bought you food when you were hungry. Nothing great, just small gestures that mean the world to people.

MyPersonalHeroes:
Brendan:
The one person that annoys me the most in this world. The one person I would die for. Im so thankful that you were born, you brighten up my day just by smiling. I love you baby brother :)
Joseph:
The one friend thats been through the thick & thin with me and I can always count on. Always. You understand when to joke around & when to be serious. You help cheer me up when im in one of those depressed moods. I really dont know what I wouldve done without you a couple months back. bffffffs forever & work buddies :)

AILYNE

2009-05-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

look them up on myspace music. they are really really reallllly good. And a CHRISTIAN band...and very nice people. Met them tonight when they came to our youth group. Adam and Tyler and Christian are the best! haha. And I taught them how to make a facebook fan page. oh and got this awesome shirt that they all signed. Great time tonight. haha.

Do You Believe In Life After Love...

2009-05-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

I really havent written in what seems like forever. And quite frankly I have had nothing to write about. Sure theres been multitudes of drama and the occassional loss and regain of friend, but overall its just the same old same old. I mean, what can you write about when all you do is go to school and learn pointless things like "whether to use a comma before the and in a sentence"&"the five pillars of Islam". I mean seriously.

But actually, there is something I saw this past week that was pretty interesting. I was called "The Third Jihad". We watched this movie at my church and it really opened my eyes on how I veiw people in the world. It was about RADICAL MUSLIMS. But the interesting thing was that it was narratted by a MUSLIM. I hope everyone watches this. Its a really great movie/documentary.

Prayer Requests:
-my finger still hurts really bad from where I burned it on the warmer at work. 2nd degree burn :/ but hey, it wasnt as bad as when I got the same on my ear at camp last year. haha
-school is ALMOST OUT. well actually more like 16 days but oh well. EOCs EEEEK
-Ms. A's surgery is in a few weeks
-my back is getting worse and worse. going to doctor soon about it.

What Love Is

2009-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

Okay so there is something that I just realized is kind of bugging me. I was looking at some of my facebook friends that I used to be best friends with but instantaneously stopped talking to them. And then I realized how that person had once said they were in love with this other friend of mine, but now both of those people who were "in love" are now in brand new relationships. I guess this bothers me because it seems that no one can really commit to a relationship these days. The instant it begins to be a struggle they just move on. This also shows their immaturity. They were riding on only emotions when they claimed "love".

Now Laura* and Ben* both say that they now know what love is, just because they learned from their mistakes. But do they really? I dont think anyone who jumps from one relationship to another, like in Laura and Ben's situation, really does know. (Im also definitely not saying that I do). From what I've seen with about 95% of my friends, they think they are in love with every single relationship (even if it only lasted for 2 months). This is utter crap. It really does get under my skin when people say that, because I know it is a lie.

Sorry I strayed from my point a few times Maggie (youre prob the only person reading this :) )
*names have been changed

Jerk

2009-03-26T19:48:00.001-07:00

So he was supposed to be my friend. And he just changed suddenly into this JERK. and he KNEW it too! I cant believe he did that. And then he has the audacity to tell me he doesnt care if I still wanna be friends, when he's one of the few people I trusted with my story of last year. Why would he do something like this? This is NOT the guy i knew. So i hit another spell where i remembered last year better. UGH i cant believe he made me go through that. At least it was short and I guess i just have to stop fighting the losing battle and move forward. He doesnt want to try to be friends FINE! I just hope they dont choose him over me. Please dont guys. I cant handle another 8th grade. I literally CANT.

This is CRAP

2009-03-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

Literally..
Maggie pretty much forced me to write a post because shes just really gay like that. nah thats a joke i LOVE HER! :) Okay so I really dont know what is wrong with me and my friends recently (mostly myself and Maggie) but we have been thinking of very creative ways of torture and writing very strange stories. Maggie and I have written an 8 page (so far) story that includes the deaths of Kayla (turned into a shiskabab), Zach (used for seasoning on Kayla's body to be eaten by the cannibals), and Ashleigh (fell in a hole). It also says that we are spies and that theres a hidden pyramid in Las Vegas. Yes i know, this is strange. But I dont see it as "strange" i see it as taking advantage of being young. hahaha. Maggie, Catelyn, and I also wrote a note today in spanish...this is it:

Hayley:psssst Catelyn im bored
Catelyn:pssst Hayley youre retarded haha
H: well that hurt..like a punch in the stomach or a stab in the eye :'(
C: oooh i bet it did even like a stub on the toe or falling off your bike
H: no worse than that. more like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and falling and breaking all the bones in my body but surviving long enough to feel the pain
Maggie: uhm, actually more like running into a tree, walking backwards into a lake, falling onto a large rock, splitting your head open, and then mauled by a grizzly bear.
C: no no you get mauled by the grizzly bear but thats not it. after that he spits you back out so you lay on the ground. then an eagle comes and tears off your hands and feet to feed to its babies. now you cant walk so a mudslide comes and carries you to the bottom of an erupting volcano where all your remaining skin is burned off. thats how much i hurt you.
H: but im still alive even with no skin and vultures come and eat my intestines then they eat too much and puke them back whole into where they are supposed to be and im able to walk around like a skeleton but noone believes im hurt cuz its halloweed and they think its a costume
M: yeah and so then you win a prize for best costume and you get $5000 but you get it stolen because everyone thought you were dead after halloween so youre so ugly noone wants to be your friend so you move to Antartica and become emo
C: yeah and noone in antartica wants to be your friend either so you learn to talk to animals and you become friends with all the penguins and polar bears and you sit around all day cutting yourselves.
H: But i have to use a samari sword to cut myself because i have no skin and it slips one day and i kill all my penguins
M: then animal control comes and realizes there are no more penguins so they arrest you
C: and while theyre arresting you the polar bears comes out and attack them all and maul them to death so now they have no skin either and you have no friends
H: but i steal their car and run to the store to buy some leather to use as skin
M: but then the store clerk got suspicious and wouldnt let you buy leather but he let you buy polyester
C: you cover yourself in polyester and go back to your polar bears they bow down to you and make you their king
H: im their king because i make them all warm and fuzzy inside
M: then all the other land animals want some loving so they come tackle you become even uglier
C: they rip all the polyester off of you and throw you in the arcitc ocean
H: i freeze alive for a thousand years then someone finds me
M: then you become famous and the pandas now bow down to you too
C:it starts with the pandas then all the other animals bow down too. soon you become king of the world!

okay so that was entirely random and extreeemely stupid but im sorry we get bored in Spanish hahahahahah ily maggie&catelyn

Tuesday...

2009-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Today was the absolute BEST tuesday i have ever had..this is why!:

>in art we had no teacher and no sub for the first 10 minutes but when Ms A walked in we were all quiet and doing our work..so she gave our whole class a 100 on a project grade! that brought my grade up tremendously.

>in math i saw my grade for the quarter and i brought it up 3 points since the midterm! yippee!!

>Ms Mellow was our sub in Spanish so OF COURSE we did NOTHING and Catelyn, Maggie, and I got a little carried away with my new silver sharpie and made up a story about Hagglyn, Caggley, and Magglynley the fish. my fish got too close to catelyns fish's butt so maggie distracted me so that catelyn could bite me in the butt. but catelyn didnt wanna get in trouble so she ran away and maggie ended up killing me....the three parts of our story are on each of our arms! haha

>David, Jordan,Maggie,Joey and I went to Papa John's after school and split a x-large pizza!!

>on our way back to the school Joey kept speeding up and left the four of us in the back sliding back and forth in the bed of his truck haha

>Maggie and I went to visit Mr Carr (the best teacher ever) and talked about facebook haha

>we went to the softball game....and we actually WONNN

>Maggie and I had many interesting conversations on the way to her house to drop her off after the game.

"im very heterosexual"--Joey
"did they just say 1,2,3 sex?!"--sarah
"why did you just call me a baton!?"--me after kayla tried to call me "betch" but teh "c" looked like an "o"

SO.

2009-03-22T18:56:00.001-07:00

in the last two days i haveee......

>made up a new form of excercising with my best friend Kayla which is all done while sitting. wooooo we r just that amazing.

>worked my butt off at chickfila serving good service to all the people that can still afford our food (i also let my mom know this should count as my community service hours)

>Maggie Joy Newton spent the night and we finally had our scary movie night which consisted of The Amityville Horror (+special features) & part of Untraceable.

>Maggie and I went to a college fair (?) and saw like a million people we know. I counted 8 people the first 5 minutes we were there...who knew the college fair was such a popular place! haha

>played duck,duck,goose in PE! and of COURSE we cheated and Kelsey ended up running all over the gym instead of the circle around us....wowww

>CHURCCCH. sunday school was amazing--Maggie just sat there, i think she was scared at how loud we were...we actually ran out the other class in our room (whoops)--and me and Meghan found out that we have been labeled as the "LOUD ONES" i dont agree with this label ;) haha

>Tesselation project (well thats nothing exciting but i did get to spend time with my mom cuz she helped me get the measurements right and stuff)

this weekend was so much fun! Soooo glad its Spring. Hopefully it will get warmed asap! :)

softball game

2009-03-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

So for some reason i was just realllly happy today. :)
Had fun in Mr. Carr's class as usual. Especially after I got MY seat back. i think im going a little OCD with having to have my seat in that class or i cant learn. haha. I missed Maggie Joy Newton SOOOO much in english today. just cuz shes awesome and amazing hahahaha. I dont know what went through Ms Jacksons mind when she gave us that "quiz" today in history. 10 questions of pure torture. i dont even care if it was open book haha. Kayla and I were having a funnnn time during lunch today. We were hyper (but the scary thing is we were more hyper than our usual hyper selves). Geography with Mr Carr was fun (as usual) except for when he found pleasure in annoying me with that stupid eraser. I got Griffin to get it off the ground because my OCD was nagging at me again but Mr Carr purposely threw it back on the floor to annoy me. Then made it stand on the board like the Leaning Tower of Piza!

So after school i had an hour and a half to wait til the softball game started. So i spent this time listening to my Ipod with Rob (while he sang Taylor Swift & Metro Station...HILARIOUS!!!) and talking to Mr Carr (about the drawing Josh drew of him that i sent him on facebook) and Ms Martin (about the poem i wrote).

The softball game was hilarious. I made signs for ever single player and one time when Kayla was throwing the ball to first base i was screaming "GO KAYLA" and waving her sign and she threw the ball....and it went to high....and it went over the fence....and it almost hit her mom in the head! hahaha. it was great!! I sat with Dionte and Johnny and ONE of them (my time watching Lie To Me had not helped me find out who was lying) broke my lucky slinky!

So thats my day. realy boring post but I hadnt written in a while. haha. much love

2009-03-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

Oh. The. Drama.
Okay so I still dont understand the whole point of all this drama in high school. I mean, isnt this the small portion in our life where we have grown mature enough to realize what is going on in the world politically, economically, spiritually, etc. Yet we are still young enough to ENJOY being young. But sadly, most of the kids our age (myself included) waste these precious years with petty fights & outragious rumors. EXAMPLE TIME!! Two friends of mine (lets just call them...Peggy&Linda) are pretty much best friends. They are always together, always talking to each other, etc. Well...Peggy had this relationship a couple of months ago that ended pretty badly and Linda was there to help her get over it. But now Linda likes Peggy's exboyfriend and they will not talk to each other. So, like a good friend and future couselor (maybe) such as myself, I try to help my friend Peggy deal with the situation because I am closer with her. And, of course, I am stuck in the middle kind of in this situation. THE WHOLE THING IS OVER A JERK!! A STUPID BOY THAT COULD PROBABLY CARE LESS ABOUT EITHER OF THESE GIRLS EVEN WHEN HE SAYS HE CARES! THEY SHOULD NOTTTTT LET THIS IDIOT GET IN THE WAY OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP!

So yeah, I personally HATE drama as of.....8th grade! After everything I went through with those people....I really dont think I'm over everything yet. So if Ms Martin reads this, I would like to say I am sorry for whatever I have done that you believed was disrespectful. I promise I did not mean anything. I had shared in class how being told that I was "worthless, had no friends, no one cared about me, I should kill myself" thing had affected me. I think it affected the way I see people. All the people that hurt me last year seemed very innocent, but really they were quite vicious. So I think what mightve happened in class is that ONE THING happened that really hurt/upset me, I it was like a reminder of everything that had happened the previous year. And i blamed you for making it all come back. Im not entirely sure if this is the reason for everything, but it sounds quite logical for myself.

^^Sorry to anyone that is reading this and was COMPLETELY confused by that^^ I had to put it in here because I know my English has read my blog once or so, and I speak my mind better in writing then out loud. haha.

So life: Nothing really exciting has happened recently :( i know, I live a sad & boring life. Okay this isnt ENTIRELY true. I leave the house occassionally haha. I was really hoping I wouldve been able to go to Crossway's frisbee on Sunday but that will not be happening because of my parents having to teach the financial class. :(( I reallllly wanted to go to! Still miss Mitchell, Nathan, and even.....TAYLOR! haha. Maybe I will be able to go sometime. I sure hope so. Also I have a prayer request. A friend of my parents had been dealing with cancer and I also think pneumonia. Well he died two days ago and has left a wife and two younger kids. Its a very sad situation but its great that hes in a better place! Please pray for the Skipper family!

Sticks & Stones

2009-03-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

Yesturday was absolutely amazing! Well maybe not AMAZING but much much better than my days have been lately. PE class was boring as usual, but art was very.....interesting. We had to learn about some guy who put a tire around the body of a stuffed goat, painted the goat's face, and called it ART. Didnt make much sense to me in the slightest. But kayla, josh, josh, steven, and I had a good laugh about it. ANNNNNYWAYYY...I finally was able to go to church. I feel like i havent been in a while (even though it was only like a week and a half). And im so glad I was able to make it. Toby had the most incredible message about how to get to heaven! & how some people believe they have to earn their way to heaven etc. I kind of took it as to "how to convince people that they are wrong about having to work to get to heaven". One thing he said that I HAD to write down was pretty much how we dont look better to God when we do good things for Him. Because we should WANT to good things for him, & its pretty much our duty. The sermons and messages lately have really been hitting home to me. And it really is a great feeling. I know im growing spiritually and getting more mature:) I would also like to thank Mike Powers (my youth pastor) for helping me with how to deal with this one situation...(lets just call it an unspoken prayer).

Okay so for today. In English class Ms. Martin made us share our opinions about certain sentences she wrote on the board. One stood out to me, but since I "wasnt allowed" to share my opinion (even though my hand was raised the whole time and she called on everyone else more than once...ugh *breath in breath out*) I was going to share it here. The statement was "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"...Now i know everyone has heard this, but it is ABSOLUTELY FALSE for a lot of people. Everyone kept using the examples of people calling you "fat", "ugly", or just saying "i hate you"...but really those arent that bad. If someone told me that I could brush it off very easily most likely. When I think of this I think of a personal experience that happened to me. Just imagine that you already have low self-esteem & someone who you thought of as a friend got the tiniest bit irritated towards you and told you you had no friends, nobody cared about you, and that you should go kill yourself. Now dont you think that would hurt. Because if you can brush that off and not care....I admire you greatly. I sure couldnt. I was (and still am) so distraught over that. And whenever we have discussions in English about this subject I almost go into a meltdown. Emotional pain you get from hearing someone tell you something like that (when you already half believed it) hurts you more than any broken bone. So anyone that thinks that "sticks and stone can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is true. Youre either lying and hiding a lot of pain, youre absolutely amazing and everyone likes you, or you just dont care about anything. Cuz I know it HURTS.

Oh and by the way. I wrote that poem/screamo song/whatever you wanna call it two posts back. I didnt find it on the internet.

To My Best Friends

2009-02-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

Kayla (kay;kayluh;KB):
Okay so you are pretty much my best friend right now and I seriously dont know how i would surive Queens Grant without you. Dont get me wrong--Queens Grant is a great school and all but you know what I mean. Its so funny how to COMPLETELY different people can get so close. I mean really....we r nothing alike haha. I was having such a rough time before we became friends (everyones jealous) okay so u told me to write aobut how awesome you are...right? well u suck! haha jk. Oh and for anyone that have heard the rumor we made up to convince Austin that Kayla is lesbian. ITS NOT TRUE (happy now?) hahaha. and its not my fault people think that (thank Jordan and David!!) hahahha. ily girl (dont take tht the wrong way) and cant wait for the next four years!

Meghan #1:
Okay so no matter how many times you ditch me at church events (for victoria at camp in 6th grade, for brooke at disciplenow in 7th etc) and then we get into those big arguments about it YOU ARE LIKE THE BEST FRIEND EVER. its not many friends that u can just b so freaking mean and rude to but totally forget about it in about 15 minutes. my life would NOT b the same without you and who would i spend time with before church (HAYLEY AND MEGHAN TIME!) hahaha. Wait...come to think of it you are so mean to me..hahahaa. but i guess im mean to you to. Just like the time you STOLE MY PHONE! gr i was mad. but for some STUPID reason i just CANT stay mad at you. And that makes me mad. Cuz sometiems I REALLY want to! ily meghan nicole tucker:)

Josh B:
JOSH!!!! happy saturday! :) you and josh make Career paths one of my favorite classes ever! i mean cuz really....if yall werent there itd SUCK! im so glad we all became friends. and remember you can tell me anything about....ya know. haha. and thanks for the CDs AMAZINGGG. dont worry i wont FORGET and ill bring them back on TIME! haha jk jk. i know you were upset about that. But dont worry. i DONT get mad that easily:) especially over something totally stupid like that. youre a great friend :))))

Nathan D:
Im so glad we became friends. I can tell you pretty much everything (talking to you right now actually) haha. Ive met a lot of awesome people because of you and we have some of the best conversations. I havent tlked to you as much the last couple of days :( btw Im verrrrryyyy happy you TOLD me to start this blog. I havent posted much so far but im working on it. haha. Thanks for being there for me:)

Cassie (ugly):
cassie.lee.hughes! omigosh i miss you SOOO much. ur seriously like a sister to me! I hate hate hate that we had to move just cuz we left you. I never really appreciated you ALWAYS being there in Georgia. literally ALWAYS.. i mean u had ur own toothbrush at our house for crying out loud! I miss always being the FIRST people in the pool when it opened back (no matter how TERRIBLY cold it was), just going over to each others houses whenever we wanted to and roaming the neighborhood hahaha. I even remember when i MET you. 1st grade feild trip! goodtimes. i miss you Cassie and cant wait til you come back (even though u like just left) CAMPPP!

Okay so i know I didnt put a LOT of my friends on here.. I might later on but for now this is it. To everyone else ILOVEYALL! idk what i would do without all of my amazing friends. School, church, work, everything would SUCK without you. THANKYOU for being there for me:)

State of Mind Matters

2009-02-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

My life has become a mess,

A swirling state of mass confusion.

Tangled with lies and shame.

Covering up all beauty, peace, and innocense.

These dark grey vines,

Of scorn and hate,

Slither up my body.

I am unable to walk away from this problem,

As it entangles my feet and legs.

Unable to crawl away from this problem,

As it binds my arms to my side.

Then I am unable to breath,

And to even see this problem,

As it creeps around my neck and face.

My mind wanders

To painful times I endured in my life,

As i struggle my way out of this depressing state.

I feel like the only way to free myself,

Is to cut these thick vines away.

But every time I slice them

They grow faster and multiply.

Im possessed by this evilness croaching around me

And taking all my air.

I begin to give up.

Why is it worth fighting this battle,

When I know whos going to win?

But...

I cant go in this state of mind.

I have to think of all the happiness

And joy in my life.

I remember times spent with my cousins,

Dinner with my parents where we shared many conversations,

My little brothers smile,

And the ropes binding my helpless body

Begin to loosen.

I think of playing cards with my grandmother,

My dearest friend,

Summer camp,

And finally I think of being baptized.

I remember God's Grace and how his tender

Love and Care surround my heart and soul.

The restraints fall,

I am freed by the love of my Father!

Hello...

2009-02-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

...Here ya go Nathan.

Finally got around to making this, I actually probably need a place to vent. So much has happened recently in my life. School (well just english class), church (where i am growing more every lesson), friends (losing and gaining..and losing some more), the normal high school drama (that doesnt make quite much sense to me), family (always a struggle...always), and work (we find out next week whether my dad still has a job or not and im not getting enough hours to the point where i am broke).

I think that about wraps it up for what is going on in my life at this exact moment.

Dont worry my other posts wont be NEARLY as boring as this one...haha (told ya Nathan)